Do you have a spouse or a partner who is extremely negative, argumentative, or verbally abusive? You want desperately to change their personality, because their negativity is taking a toll on you. If your spouse fits any of these categories, you likely need tips on how to handle them. Each type of personality requires a different approach.
• The Rage-a-Holic: By far, this is the most difficult personality type. A rage-a-holic is a person who gets angry quickly and typically wants to control situations. Their rage is the result of their feeling a lack of control. Rage-a-holics know that they are intimidating and use this to increase their sense of control. They typically don’t see themselves as verbally abusive, but their actions place them in this category.
How you handle a spouse who is a rage-a-holic is up to you, but it’s important to detach from your partner’s behavior—whether that results in you leaving the room, the house, or the relationship. Rage-a-holics won’t change until they are miserable. Although anger management techniques can be very successful for them, the rage-a-holic has to want to change this behavior, and since you can’t change them, you must create your own limits and boundaries.
to tell the person when they are not angry that you will no longer stay
in the same room with them when once their voice becomes loud. This will
require courage. Most people fear rage and volume. It will be important
for you to do this every time the person gets loud.
This exercise is done as follows: You tell the spouse that every time they are negative you will whisper the words, “Kiss Kiss” and they must kiss you on the spot. Then, every time your partner makes a negative remark you smile, whisper, and kiss. Although it sounds simplistic, many couples use this to redirect negativity. This keeps couples from rolling their eyes in reaction or commenting, “There you go again, always being negative.” This technique changes behaviors in a playful way.
Couples work is always
challenging, and these three personality profiles can be extremely tough
on a relationship. The recommendations given can help to restore your
sanity and helps set boundaries and limits. No matter what the pattern,
these techniques will empower you to improve your sense of self in the