Trauma

The Second Anniversary of September 11th

Today, I am checking in with you to assess how the second anniversary of September 11th has affected your mental health. Last year, I encouraged you to limit your exposure to the media because it instills fear, anger and hatred, and can leave you feeling a lack of control in your own life. My recommendations included finding ways of honoring our service men and women and working toward unification with our country and its leaders.

Terrorism is the act of instilling fear, intimidation and anxiety in the lives of others, and we have the power to choose how we react and what we do with our feelings. I suggested that you make a positive difference in the life or lives of others.

This year, I am going to ask you what kind of commitment you can make to improve your own sense of solidarity with your family, your community and the world. Find some time to ask your kids what September 11th means to them. Use reflective listening to feed back what you have heard and most importantly validate their feelings. Teach them the act of reframing by showing them how adversity can create something positive. As you sit around the dinner table, ask your family if there is something they can do as a team to promote peace and harmony. Explain to them that the terrorists tried to shake up our sense of security in this country. Emphasize the freedoms you enjoy and talk about the special privileges you have in the United States that other countries aren’t allowed—clean water, televisions, good schools.

This is a great chance to use the September 11th anniversary to reinforce spiritual concepts like faith. Talk with them about what you can do to promote a sense of peace and love in this world despite the uncertainty of war and terrorism. Anxiety, fear, and anger can be great mobilizers when you use them positively. As I said in my very first column, “Ask yourself what you can do to make a difference.”

Regardless of your political views or your beliefs about what strategies were the best for our country. Ask yourself the following questions:
• Did I spend more time connecting with family and friends?
• Did I reach out to others?
• Did I share any random acts of kindness?
• Did I spend time validating a friend, loved one, or coworker?
• Did I work on encouraging those around me?
• Did I regularly find people to hug?
• Do I talk with others and tell them that I love them?
• Am I a better person as a result of September 11th?

Did your own personal priorities change? Did you spend time nurturing yourself? Did you save enough time for you? Did you work on de-cluttering and de-stressing your life? Did you focus on the important things in life?

We live in the best country in the world. Stay focused on how you can contribute and make a difference. Human beings need positive people in their lives to help replenish them. They love reassurance. They want dependable people they can count on, especially at times of crisis. September 11th connected us to our strength, both individually and as a country. Let’s use it as a reminder that regardless of how evil plays itself out in the world, we can overcome it with goodness, positive energy, and compassion.