Holidays

Tips for the Holidays

Do you look forward to the holidays with vim and vigor, or does the “holiday dread” envelop you from Halloween on?

Most people who have difficulty with the holidays identified increased stress, disappointment, and conflict as contributing to their holiday drudgery. They complain that holidays are too commercial and too busy to enjoy. They suggest that getting together with family is stressful and they look forward, with vigor, to the end of the holiday season.

If holidays are habitually stressful or disappointing, it’s time to look at the reasons for this dilemma and offer something to make them more enjoyable (this doesn’t include giving your mother-in-law a lobotomy!).

Below are a list of stressors common during the holidays:
1. Crowded living space
2. Lack of money
3. Traffic
4. Lack of family harmony
5. Too much work
6. Loneliness
7. Lack of support
8. Unrealistic expectations
9. Lack of planning
10. Pessimistic attitude/negative mindset
11. Perfectionism
12. Traveling

Circle the stressors that are the most unmanageable for you. Now star the stressors that you know you can change. Stressors 1-3 are not within your control, but stressors 4-12 are certainly workable and if you look and plan for them today, you can have a far more pleasurable holiday tomorrow.
• Lack of family harmony: You can’t control how others get along. You can only decide how you will react to the disharmony. Don’t allow yourself to get caught up in the family strife. Stay calm and neutral. You will admire your own sense of control.
• Lack of money: Make the conscious choice to spend less this year. Your family will get over it, despite the fact that you have spoiled them in the past.
• Loneliness: If you are alone for the holidays, volunteer your time to help others. It’s not the same as a “Brady Bunch Holiday”, but it will make your holidays more meaningful. You can always look for other people to invite to your home or let others know you will be alone and take them up on their invitations.
• Lack of support: This dilemma requires that you command others’ assistance. Or, you do less yourself. What would the holidays look like if you did less?
• Unrealistic expectations: Keep your expectations simple. When you depend on others you can set yourself up for pain. If this has been a problem in the past you will definitely need to decrease what you expect from the holidays. Learn to enjoy exactly “what is”.
• Lack of planning: As monotonous as this may sound, it’s important to write out an agenda for your holidays so you can visually assess whether you may need to decrease activity or coordinate plans with someone else. It’s a simple procedure that triples your productivity.
• Pessimistic attitude/negative mindset: Most negative people tell me that negativity protects them from disappointment. Although this may be true, it also diminishes their choices for happiness. Look for one positive thing each day during the holidays.
• Perfectionism: Remember, it’s more important to have a relaxed host than a perfect holiday. As you find yourself “sweating the small stuff”, make a conscious effort to turn it around by using statements like—‘will this really matter ten years from now?’
• Travel: You may not have the choice whether you travel, but you can decide what would make it more fun. A new CD, book-on-tape, a portable TV for the kids.

Only you can make the holidays more appealing. It takes some planning, but it’s well worth the investment.

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