Holidays

Father's Day

Do you convey your appreciation for the love, support and devotion that others have contributed to your life? This is an important skill that will help to ensure a full and satisfying life. Luckily, we have holidays to remind us to recognize the people who have encouraged us. Holidays are an excellent time to celebrate people.

Today is a very meaningful day for many of you, because it’s the celebration of Dad. It’s the one special day you can devote to letting him know how much you love him.

Fathers are a rare breed. In my own life, my father was quiet and unobtrusive. He was the provider. He drove us everywhere. He didn’t fall into the role of disciplinarian. As a matter of fact, I don’t even remember him saying “no”, yet he didn’t overindulge us either. He was the “infrastructure” for our family. His presence in my life gave me extra self-esteem. He died ten weeks ago, so this will be the first year that I won’t be able to physically celebrate his presence in my life. I will do something special today to honor him.

For many of you, Father’s Day will be difficult because you did not have the kind of relationship with your father that you would have liked. You may not have known him or been actively involved with him. Having an absentee father is a horrible loss.

Men historically have not been brought up to have good relationship skills; consequently, many men (aka fathers) don’t spend time bonding in an emotional, communicative way with their children. I believe this is rapidly changing and men are enjoying a more nurturing role. However, if you had an absentee father, it can greatly affect your self-esteem. How do you undo the damage this may have caused?

Think back over your life and recognize which men did play a role in your upbringing. Possibly, you had a stepfather, grandfather, or uncle who met some of the criteria of the “father figure”. Spend some time reflecting what gifts they gave you as a child. Maybe it was an uncle who gave you a piggyback ride at the family reunion. Or, possibly your stepfather tucked you in each night. Maybe it was your girlfriend’s father, who transported you and your girlfriend to work. By reflecting on the people who have made a difference in your life, you are reminded of your own uniqueness.

For those of you who are rearing children, spend some time concocting a plan to make your child’s father or “father figures” feel special today. Make a homemade card. Sing a special song. Prepare a much-loved dessert. This can create meaningful experiences, which I call “Hallmark Moments”.

If you don’t believe you have a person in your life who fits the “father figure”, you have a lot of work ahead of you. Your goal this year is to “adopt a father figure”. Find someone in a nursing home, in your church or neighborhood to bond with. You must create the experience you need, and then appreciate them and what they have to offer.

Happy Father’s Day to any man out there who has contributed to the life of a child or an adult.