Difficult People

No One Can Make You Feel Inferior

Are you empowered? Do you know your own sense of self worth? Do you give yourself credit for all your strengths? Do you know how to stand your ground and speak up for what you feel is right?

It's easy to spot someone who has misplaced their power, because they will frequently make statement like, "He made me feel so incompetent" or "She made me feel so inadequate. When I hear these types of statements in counseling, I remind them that no one can "make them feel inferior, incompetent or inadequate". I tell them that it is ok to feel the feeling but not to internalize the message that is implied. Don’t give anyone the power to make you feel "less than”.

Do you know people who are so negative that it "feels" like their mission in life is to make you feel angry, weak, powerless, miserable, depressed, or sad? As I tell my clients, don't give them the power to do this to you. "No one can make you feel…" You have the choice how others affect you. It's time to take back your power.

It's normal for you to react to another with a certain feeling. You don't have to feel the feeling permanently or allow it to feed into your sense of identity. You get to make the choice as to how to process the feelings. If your ex makes a statement that you are a "stupid idiot" you may initially feel anger, but then it's your responsibility to shift your thinking and say, "I won't give him or her power to make me feel like a “stupid idiot.” The anger that the message generates can direct you to handle the situation productively. It may help you to minimize all contact with your ex, or maybe it's your cue to find positive people to associate with so that you never, ever, hook up with a power-hungry partner again.

Eleanor Roosevelt said it best, "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." In other words, although the feelings are normal, it's what you do with them and how you process them that reconnect you to your power.

Do you have people in your life who "get to you" on a consistent basis? They have an uncanny ability to push your buttons to the point that you may question your own self and abilities? The next time this person goes after you or attacks you personally, take a deep breath, feel the feeling, and then remind yourself that you won't let their words affect your self-esteem.

More often than not, these types of people are overly concerned with control. They see themselves as authority figures and want power over you. They take a “one-up” position, which results in their victims feeling one down. You can always make the mental choice not to feel “one down.”

Unfortunately, many of my client report that they are stuck dealing with the person because they are part of their family or they work closely with them or some other situation that ties them to them physically. When you can't remove yourself from them physically you always have the option to detach emotionally. That's when you regain your sense of power.

You know you're getting healthier when you can remain neutral with these types of people. When you stop giving them the power to affect you, you can truly concentrate on your own self made plans!



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